When your entire life gets consumed by surrogacy and statistics and the rules you need to follow, not to mention all of the hormones and fertility drugs, you tend to forget about everything else. Guy was born 03/05/2014 and I’m still struggling to figure out how to find “me” again. My entire life has been consumed by surrogacy since early 2000 when I made the decision that I needed to help someone else have a baby, that I sort of forgot where I left “me” in the process.
I followed every rule and read all the statistics. I asked every possible question that I could think of to the agency as well as multiple doctors. I knew that this process was something that would not only be rewarding, but also something I could do to provide someone that really needed a child, a child of their own. I originally thought about egg donation and signed up to be a donor until I got the contract where there was the anonymity clause and I would have no idea where the eggs went. I know the world is a HUGE place, but at the same time it’s far too small for me to always be wondering if my child would be dating someone genetically related some day. That was not something I was willing to gamble with.
Fast forward a few years after I had researched being a gestational carrier and I was signing my first set of contracts. Who knew that it would be seven long, very difficult and confusing years before I would feel a baby move and be able to relax just a tiny bit. Who knew that my first would be the end for me. Surrogacy provides so many unknowns that it really doesn’t matter what a doctor indicates is the success rate or how many embryos are implanted. It’s going to work when it’s meant to work and everything happens for a reason regardless of what we all think.